![]() ![]() However, Spain’s colonies developed from a system of subjugation of the native population and massive exploitation of resources while Britain’s grew by creating colonial communities composed of opportunistic English immigrants.” “Imperial Spain and Britain were similar in that they had goals to extract wealth from colonized lands in the New World. “Imperial Spain and Britain had similarities in their economic goals, but there were differences in how their colonies developed.” Consider the following examples that I’ll make up: Your problem is making the thesis too general so that the reader won’t know what your essay will exactly be about. Format is not really your issue here, because your structure is fine. It’s hard to explain, but you need to be specific enough so that the reader knows exactly what the focus of your essay will be, but general enough so that major details are left for your supporting paragraphs. You don’t want to give too many details in the thesis (save your evidence for the body paragraphs), but you need to provide some more elaboration on exactly what their objectives were and what aspects of their religions made them different. Also, remember that your thesis can be more than one sentence, but you should go with what style fits best for you. However, a thesis is still a thesis, and while yours shows a good mastery of language and style, it is vague. I was in AP World last year and got a 5, but the test might be changing this year, so I’m not sure how much I can help you. I understand no one knows anything about my teacher however, all I need is for a good format to create a thesis for the AP World History Compare and Contrast essay.Īlso, please do give feedback over my terrible thesis… The full essay grade is out of 30 points for a full 100, but the thesis is worth 15 of those points. I’m emphasizing the thesis a lot because the thesis is surprisingly HALF of the full essay grade. Major points are adequately explained (I received a 0/5).Includes major points (at least one similarity and one difference) (I received a 3/5).Valid, underlined the thesis in the essay, in the introduction paragraph.Must get first 5 points to get other points: My teacher commented: "The thesis is vague, it needs to be more specific. Mesopotamia and Egypt are both parallel when relating to the objective of their rulers, but are distinguishable in the their religious believes throughout their societies. Topic: Compare and contrast Egypt and Mesopotamia. Here was an example thesis that I made for his first exam on the compare and contrast essay: I’ve been struggling on making thesis throughout his class, I was wondering if anyone has a good format on creating an excellent thesis for the AP World History Compare and Contrast essay? My teacher grades super hard on his essays. My teacher grades my exams in a AP fashion, so using the AP tactics I can possibly master his tests.
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